Thursday, May 28, 2015

Party Time

Hi!  Still here, still sober!  It is so funny how things have changed.  In the beginning I wanted to blog everyday, sometimes more than once a day.  I had so much inside my head that needed to come out.  Now, it seems I just don't have the time or desire as I once did.  I do think it's important though and know I'll enjoy having this record of my journey so I plan to continue even if it is much less frequently.

Things are going well as far as sobriety is concerned.  I find it very easy most of the time and I rarely think about alcohol.  I am however about to face probably the most difficult test yet.  I have been invited to a birthday party tomorrow night.  It is with a bunch of friends from my gym.  I know most of them but haven't hung out with them socially for the most part.  

I'm feeling lots of anticipatory anxiety about this event.  I suppose I'm not sure exactly but from what I can tell there will be lots of drinking.  I really want them to like me and I tend to be socially awkward.  My first instinct would have always been to drink (a lot) in an attempt to fit in.  

I really, really want to go.  Not going is not an option.  I can't hide away forever just because I'm sober.  So I need to relearn how to function at an event like this without alcohol. 

Some of the people who are going know that I've stopped drinking.  In fact I know of at least one other sober person who will be there.  Part of my worry though is how and what to tell people and what their reaction will be.

I know that a lot of the time the worry leading up to an event is much worse than how it actually turns out.  I really hope this is the case.  I know that I can get through this party without drinking I'm just not sure I can get through it without WANTING to drink.