Going Out For Drinks

Last Saturday I went "out for drinks" with some friends from the gym. NO...I did not drink alcohol :)

I was a bit nervous. I really haven't been doing much socially.  I arrived first (I'm always early...character flaw?!?),and the next to arrive was a friend I've know for a few years. I told her my big secret was that I've given up alcohol. She was very supportive. 

I didn't make a big announcement to anyone else. The hardest part by far is when the waiter first asks what everyone is having to drink. I was surprised that the first person to order had club soda with lime!  I ordered water.  The 3 others ordered wine and beer.   When my friend ordered her beer, she turned to me and said "I hope that's ok".   I said "of course"! The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable or change what they're ordering. 

No one cared that I ordered water...no one said a word!  Later, when the waiter came back to see about more drinks everyone said no thanks.  All I could think was how much I would have wanted more!

I had such a great time connecting with new friends and old. The biggest lesson here is that I CAN socialize without alcohol!  I CAN make conversation without loosening up with a drink first!  I can laugh and be silly and talk about serious things too!

Day 180!

I'm here, I'm sober and today is day 180!  I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this as I've been neglecting my blog terribly.  In the beginning I felt like I had so much to say and lately I've just been going along with my life.  But I will say this...I'm glad I'm sober and as far as sobriety goes things are going well.

Days 100-180 have flown by.  I really don't think about alcohol much at this point.  Most people who are close to me know that I'm not drinking so that makes things easier.  Something that has been bugging me lately is wanting EVERYONE to know.  For example I have a lot of friends at the gym who I see just about everyday.  It just feels weird to slip it into casual conversation.  I've thought about a short and sweet Facebook post...something like "It's been 6 months with no alcohol". Thoughts?

Speaking of Facebook...my Facebook use lately is OUT OF CONTROL.  It's always been very high but I've been posting a ton and constantly checking it. It's like I need something to be addicted to!  I suppose it's better than alcohol but maybe I need some limits?!?

If you are reading this and still on this journey with me...thank you!  Even if I'm not posting I always think of my blogging friends.  I'd like to promise that I'll post more often...I'm going to try :)

My Sober Vacation

Just got back in to town and managed to stay SOBER through an entire vacation!  We had a great time.  One of my biggest fears before getting sober was vacations/special events, and now I know I can do it.  On the plane ride there I watched the documentary called Lipstick and Liquor, and also listened to the Bubble Hour episode about the documentary.  I would recommend it.  

I'm not going to lie, I had a few moments of longing for a drink. Especially a fruity cocktail on the beach...but the craving went away quickly.  I also allowed myself to eat anything and everything on this trip, so that helped. The most amazing part was that I slept great and had no hangovers!  Here are a couple of pictures.

The kids and I with our "Magic Bands"

One of the many yummy meals I ate

Beautiful sunset on the beach

How NOT to Vacation

In a couple of short weeks, I'll be going on my first ever sober vacation. Even when I vacationed while pregnant I allowed myself one strawberry daiquiri!  It's been a while since I wrote about some of the bad drinking experiences I've had, but I want to write about one more here so it will serve as a reminder to me.

It was the summer of 2013.  Trip to California (wine country) for my brother's wedding.  One of my best friends lives in the area so as a bonus she would be along for the festivities.  A day long wine tasting excursion was planned for the first full day we were there.  Leading up to the trip I was worried about how I'd be able to handle wine tasting all day, but as it turns out I was way too hungover to even enjoy it.

As soon as we got to our hotel room there was a gift bottle of wine waiting for us.  I opened it before my husband could even put the suitcases down. The rest of the evening was spent at the pool so the kids could swim and the adults could "relax".  Throughout the evening different friends and family members came and went, always with more wine.  

Just a "few" of the bottles from that night

Long story short, I woke up in the hotel room with one of the worst hangovers of my life and a sink full of vomit.  Yep, I got sick in the sink in the very hotel room where my kids were sleeping a few feet away.  Who does that? NOT my proudest moment. Cleaning it up should have been punishment enough, but the whole next day of wine tasting was completely ruined because I felt so terrible. The day after the wedding was also ruined because of a hangover.  TWO full days of this trip were spent feeling miserable.  I will not do that again!

Still Here :)

I know I've been quiet, but I'm still here and still sober!

Who's tired of hearing me talk about shirts on a sobriety blog?  Well you are in luck, this should be my last post about the shirts!  We surprised my step aerobics teacher this morning.  It was great fun!  

Love how these turned out!

I'm still taking orders for a few shirts here and there but the majority (100 shirts) have been made and distributed.  It's been such fun reconnecting with my friend during this process.  I was initially very worried to tell her of my sobriety but now we have something to do that has nothing to do with alcohol.  I even brought her to my Dance Jam class last week.  SO MUCH FUN!

My last post was about a drinking dream and I have just learned that tonight's episode of the bubble hour is about drinking dreams.  I am very interested to listen to it.

Late Night Panic

I had the most realistic drinking dream yet.  It was so full of detail and emotion. It was similar to other drinking dreams I've had, just more vivid.

I took a drink and then was drunk.  I couldn't believe it.  I knew I would start over at day one but was so disgusted with myself for having to start over.  I was in disbelief.  I was trying to figure out how to tell my sober friends.  

I was with my daughter, far from home.  I was trying to drive and then searching for a hotel withing walking distance.  I can still see the look on her face...

I woke in a panic and then realized it was just a dream!  Thanks goodness!

Say Something

I don't have much to say but I feel like I should say something.  I hate leaving my last post out there without following up to say things are back to normal.  I don't even know what "normal" means, but I am over my freak-out from the weekend.  I appreciate the support from everyone.

I'm still busy with shirts!  I've sold 70 shirts for my dance jam class and I also take a step aerobics class and we are working on shirts to surprise the instructor with.

Lately, I rarely think about alcohol.  The thoughts slip in but they are quick to slip right back out.  When I was at my friends office working on the shirts she showed me a video of a cruise she wants to take.  Lot's of images of people drinking wine, wine glasses, having fun, relaxing.  Stuff like that is triggery for me.  I felt a longing for the wine, but it quickly passed.

The scale is also moving in the right direction, I'm finally seeing a slight change in the way I look :)

Happy Sober Thursday!