Friday, December 5, 2014

Day 48 ~ It's a Mental Game

Day 48 is significant to me because the last time I "quit drinking", I drank on day 48.  I will not drink today.

Here's a brief recap of what happened last time. 

May 2014 

Day 0.  It was a Sunday, for no apparent reason I started drinking wine early and fast.  By the middle of the afternoon I had vomited and passed out.

Day 1.  Really bad hangover.  Guilt.  Shame.  The usual "I'm never drinking again."  But I felt pretty serious this time. 

Days 2-47.  I was feeling good, I was doing it.

July 2014

Day 48.  I went on vacation.  Wolfie was there although at the time I still had never heard it called that.  He said lots of things to me that day:

"You are on vacation, you can't have fun without drinking"
"You have made it for so long, you deserve a reward (wine)"
"Let's see how it goes, if a drinking opportunity presents itself and you want to drink you can"
"Everyone else on this trip will be drinking"
"You love wine"
"You need wine"
"You know you want to"
"You have never succeeded in quitting before"
"You aren't quitting forever so why not drink today"
I really did think long and hard about it.  I did not want to reset the counter on my phone to day 1.  I feel like my "let's see what happens" attitude was the reason for my ultimate decision to drink.  I am hoping the next time I go on vacation I will have a different outlook from the beginning.  I will know that I'm not going to drink and that there is no reason to have this crazy conversation in my head. 


  1. bugger those voices! You have learnt heaps since then and you have US now. Its a whole new game. we can do this together. yes we can.
    big hugs from nz

    1. The only thing that would make your comments better is if I could hear you read them in what I imagine is a fantastic NZ accent!

  2. I hate those conversations! The last one was shorter, though.
    I saw a wine sign.
    Wolfie said "I need a drink!"
    I said, "NO!"
    Yay on almost 50 days!
    (PS - I might have made this comment 2 times. I'm tired today!)

    1. I love and sweet. You only posted your comment once but I love comments so twice would be fine!

  3. Oh we are so alike. My attempt this time last year lasted 49 days. I'm currently on day 47. Although I didn't give in because of vacation. I still don't know why I did??? My last attempt at the beginning of this year was 60 days, so I can't wait to beat that one as well. Its so much better with the right support don't you think? I think what you are saying about 'lets just see what happens' is true. You let your guard down a little and wolfie was there waiting. Stupid wolf!

    1. How crazy is that? Ok so we can be alike in making it a really long time this time! Yes, the support is huge. I've never done it like this before and I really think it is making the difference. I would hate to have to come back here and tell my few loyal readers that I'd had a drink!

  4. Yes a long time this time for sure! I am the same I would hate to mess this up and have to confess too. I'd have to email Belle too and tell her. Nope that is not going to happen.

  5. I worried so much about my first holiday. Then my first all inclusive holiday.Then my first holiday self catering.
    I'm sure it feels different this time because you sounds totally in charge!

    1. Thanks for being here Rachel. Yes, things feel different this time for sure. All inclusive...yikes!