Monday, January 12, 2015

Yesterday was a Hot Mess

I'd call yesterday a bad day.  I was super grouchy.

First thing I did was get on the scale.  I knew pretty much exactly what it would say but I was disappointed anyway.  I've done this yo-yo dieting thing enough times to know that losing weight takes time and yet I want immediate results. After all, I've been staying within my calorie limit for almost 2 weeks and I went to the gym 6 out out 7 days last week.  Surely I'd have lost 15 pounds by now. Guess what...I haven't!

Then I went to they gym which was actually fun as I love my Sunday class.  On the way home I found out that there was an extra ticket for the playoff football game.  This should be exciting news, and it was.  It's just that I knew it would be challenging as I'd just gone to a game a couple of weeks ago.  We sit in a suite complete with a bar, bartender and food buffet.  Last time I drank tea and ate the yummy food.  This time I drank tea and ate 2 pickles!  My attitude was terrible.  I wanted to be holding a huge plastic cup filled with foamy beer.  

I wanted to enjoy the game and I did somewhat but I was filled with negative thoughts.  My own temper tantrum in my head.  WHY CAN'T I HAVE DRINKS? Everyone else is having drinks.  Why can't I be a normal drinker?  Maybe this no drinking thing was a BAD idea.  AND...this was MY idea...why exactly am I doing this to myself?

I also failed all day to have any civilized conversation with my husband. Instead, every word that came out of my mouth was either bitchy, accusatory or lecturing.  YUCK!

I was even on the brink of tears a couple of times.

I've heard other sober people talk of this magical land where they LIKE being sober.  People have said they enjoy social events sober and even have fun!  I need a map to this magical place because I was nowhere near there yesterday.

Today will be better :)


12 comments:

  1. I am so sorry! I sure have been there.
    I still hope I can go to a dinner party and not have those thoughts.
    I've been told the magic comes after a longer period of being AF.
    Today will be better!

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    1. Thank you! Today is better although its really cold and gloomy here. I need the sun to come back out!

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  2. I don't know if it will help but I have been feeling exactly the same. Miserable, moaning minnie. Everything is snappy and cross..

    One thing that did help was my meditation class. I felt as though a weight had been lifted. This is really the only thing thats helping me at the moment. That and running. I hate the running whilst I'm doing it but the endorphin hit at the end is pretty good ;0)
    Wishing you well x

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    1. Hi Claire, thanks! I don't run but I do group fitness classes at my gym which I love. What exactly is a meditation class?

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  3. I'm feeling similar!!! Greatest of hugs to you x x x

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  4. Hi, this was raw AND funny :). I hope you are feeling better toward the end of this hot mess of a week! When you get the map to the magical place of Perfect, please share. In the meantime, we're here to muddle through Reality with you! Thanks for this post.

    Hugs,

    SR

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    1. Thank you! Yes, feeling better and still searching :)

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  5. I don't love being sober either, and I have lost no weight, nothing, not one bit. I know how you feel we chose to do this and we are doing it because deep down we know its right. Keep on going and don't give in.

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    1. It can be hard for sure. I'm working hard at the weight loss now so I hope to see results soon!

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  6. I'm at eight months and I'm only just getting over the temper tantrums and seeing that this is my choice, there is power in it. It's a slow process to shed your inner alco-toddler. You WILL get there. I promise!

    Also if this posts as anonymous this is me from How to Vomit Politely over at Word Press xx

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    1. Hi! Thanks for your comment. I love your blog. It's nice to hear from someone a bit farther along. You are right...it's just like a toddlers temper tantrum.

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