Something is starting to click in my brain just a little bit. Of course I know I have a problem with alcohol...that's why we're here. But as I've been listening to podcasts from Belle and The Bubble Hour, and also connecting with people in the Booze Free Brigade (BFB), I am realizing that others with alcohol issues also have similar personality characteristics. Things like being a people pleaser, getting overwhelmed easily, being controlling, all or nothing thinking, low self-esteem, social awkwardness, perfectionism. I was under the impression that alcohol was the problem, but there are so many other areas of myself that need work. This is maybe a slightly depressing realization because of course I have no idea how to make these things better.
But as Dr. Phil would say, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge." Figuring out what I need to work on has to be a good first step, right?
There is a quote that stuck out in my mind from Fifty Shades of Grey. (Yes I read it...didn't you?) Christian tells Anastasia, "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up." I guess it stayed in my mind because I feel like it applies to me.
Ok, so now what?