ONE YEAR!

Wow!  I have not made a post since MAY?!?!

Tomorrow is the big day.  I'm still sober and tomorrow marks one year! I'm very excited.  It's also a strange feeling...what's next?

Well I won't be drinking anytime soon!!

For the most part it's very easy to refrain from alcohol at this point.  One challenge that I've run into recently is wanting to drink with "new" people in my life.  I have a couple of newer friends who I have never drank with...and I suppose never will.

I also continue to struggle in my marriage.  I think stopping drinking has been a major contributing factor in that.  Time will tell how it will play out.

I am very happy and proud to have made it to the one year point!

Party Time

Hi!  Still here, still sober!  It is so funny how things have changed.  In the beginning I wanted to blog everyday, sometimes more than once a day.  I had so much inside my head that needed to come out.  Now, it seems I just don't have the time or desire as I once did.  I do think it's important though and know I'll enjoy having this record of my journey so I plan to continue even if it is much less frequently.

Things are going well as far as sobriety is concerned.  I find it very easy most of the time and I rarely think about alcohol.  I am however about to face probably the most difficult test yet.  I have been invited to a birthday party tomorrow night.  It is with a bunch of friends from my gym.  I know most of them but haven't hung out with them socially for the most part.  

I'm feeling lots of anticipatory anxiety about this event.  I suppose I'm not sure exactly but from what I can tell there will be lots of drinking.  I really want them to like me and I tend to be socially awkward.  My first instinct would have always been to drink (a lot) in an attempt to fit in.  

I really, really want to go.  Not going is not an option.  I can't hide away forever just because I'm sober.  So I need to relearn how to function at an event like this without alcohol. 

Some of the people who are going know that I've stopped drinking.  In fact I know of at least one other sober person who will be there.  Part of my worry though is how and what to tell people and what their reaction will be.

I know that a lot of the time the worry leading up to an event is much worse than how it actually turns out.  I really hope this is the case.  I know that I can get through this party without drinking I'm just not sure I can get through it without WANTING to drink.

Going Out For Drinks

Last Saturday I went "out for drinks" with some friends from the gym. NO...I did not drink alcohol :)

I was a bit nervous. I really haven't been doing much socially.  I arrived first (I'm always early...character flaw?!?),and the next to arrive was a friend I've know for a few years. I told her my big secret was that I've given up alcohol. She was very supportive. 

I didn't make a big announcement to anyone else. The hardest part by far is when the waiter first asks what everyone is having to drink. I was surprised that the first person to order had club soda with lime!  I ordered water.  The 3 others ordered wine and beer.   When my friend ordered her beer, she turned to me and said "I hope that's ok".   I said "of course"! The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable or change what they're ordering. 

No one cared that I ordered water...no one said a word!  Later, when the waiter came back to see about more drinks everyone said no thanks.  All I could think was how much I would have wanted more!

I had such a great time connecting with new friends and old. The biggest lesson here is that I CAN socialize without alcohol!  I CAN make conversation without loosening up with a drink first!  I can laugh and be silly and talk about serious things too!

Day 180!

I'm here, I'm sober and today is day 180!  I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this as I've been neglecting my blog terribly.  In the beginning I felt like I had so much to say and lately I've just been going along with my life.  But I will say this...I'm glad I'm sober and as far as sobriety goes things are going well.

Days 100-180 have flown by.  I really don't think about alcohol much at this point.  Most people who are close to me know that I'm not drinking so that makes things easier.  Something that has been bugging me lately is wanting EVERYONE to know.  For example I have a lot of friends at the gym who I see just about everyday.  It just feels weird to slip it into casual conversation.  I've thought about a short and sweet Facebook post...something like "It's been 6 months with no alcohol". Thoughts?

Speaking of Facebook...my Facebook use lately is OUT OF CONTROL.  It's always been very high but I've been posting a ton and constantly checking it. It's like I need something to be addicted to!  I suppose it's better than alcohol but maybe I need some limits?!?

If you are reading this and still on this journey with me...thank you!  Even if I'm not posting I always think of my blogging friends.  I'd like to promise that I'll post more often...I'm going to try :)

My Sober Vacation

Just got back in to town and managed to stay SOBER through an entire vacation!  We had a great time.  One of my biggest fears before getting sober was vacations/special events, and now I know I can do it.  On the plane ride there I watched the documentary called Lipstick and Liquor, and also listened to the Bubble Hour episode about the documentary.  I would recommend it.  

I'm not going to lie, I had a few moments of longing for a drink. Especially a fruity cocktail on the beach...but the craving went away quickly.  I also allowed myself to eat anything and everything on this trip, so that helped. The most amazing part was that I slept great and had no hangovers!  Here are a couple of pictures.

The kids and I with our "Magic Bands"

One of the many yummy meals I ate

Beautiful sunset on the beach

How NOT to Vacation

In a couple of short weeks, I'll be going on my first ever sober vacation. Even when I vacationed while pregnant I allowed myself one strawberry daiquiri!  It's been a while since I wrote about some of the bad drinking experiences I've had, but I want to write about one more here so it will serve as a reminder to me.

It was the summer of 2013.  Trip to California (wine country) for my brother's wedding.  One of my best friends lives in the area so as a bonus she would be along for the festivities.  A day long wine tasting excursion was planned for the first full day we were there.  Leading up to the trip I was worried about how I'd be able to handle wine tasting all day, but as it turns out I was way too hungover to even enjoy it.

As soon as we got to our hotel room there was a gift bottle of wine waiting for us.  I opened it before my husband could even put the suitcases down. The rest of the evening was spent at the pool so the kids could swim and the adults could "relax".  Throughout the evening different friends and family members came and went, always with more wine.  

Just a "few" of the bottles from that night

Long story short, I woke up in the hotel room with one of the worst hangovers of my life and a sink full of vomit.  Yep, I got sick in the sink in the very hotel room where my kids were sleeping a few feet away.  Who does that? NOT my proudest moment. Cleaning it up should have been punishment enough, but the whole next day of wine tasting was completely ruined because I felt so terrible. The day after the wedding was also ruined because of a hangover.  TWO full days of this trip were spent feeling miserable.  I will not do that again!

Still Here :)

I know I've been quiet, but I'm still here and still sober!

Who's tired of hearing me talk about shirts on a sobriety blog?  Well you are in luck, this should be my last post about the shirts!  We surprised my step aerobics teacher this morning.  It was great fun!  

Love how these turned out!

I'm still taking orders for a few shirts here and there but the majority (100 shirts) have been made and distributed.  It's been such fun reconnecting with my friend during this process.  I was initially very worried to tell her of my sobriety but now we have something to do that has nothing to do with alcohol.  I even brought her to my Dance Jam class last week.  SO MUCH FUN!

My last post was about a drinking dream and I have just learned that tonight's episode of the bubble hour is about drinking dreams.  I am very interested to listen to it.