It's the Most Wonderful (trigger-filled) Time of the Year!

Now that my kids are officially on winter break and we will have a couple of weeks off of our regularly scheduled evening activities I find myself in the beginning of what's normally my heaviest drinking time of the year.  In the past, I wouldn't even contemplate not drinking during this time of the year. Sure, I've tried dry January before.  That is much easier for me because it seems everyone is much more health conscious in January.  But during the holidays...no way, not me.

Except it is me now.  

I've spent the last couple of weeks relatively free of thoughts of alcohol.  This has been in part due to my obsession with a certain podcast that ended yesterday.  Then last night I was having those romantic thoughts of wine for the first time in a while.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  The sound of the the wine pouring in the glass, the way the glass feels in your hand, the instant "happy" feeling.  Also mixed in were thoughts of how unfair it is that I can't "drink like a normal person."

I've gotten much better though at "thinking through the drink."  Yes, it might feel good for maybe an hour at the most, but then what happens?  Well, I'd finish the bottle (maybe more), sleep like shit, feel terrible physically and mentally the next day, have foggy memories of the night before, not be present for my kids, etc.  

This year is different.  I'm confident I can make it through the next couple of weeks without drinking, but not so confident that I wont miss it.

Day 20

Dry January

I've tried this now for the past 3 years and here's how it went.

January 2012 

My brother and sister in law brought up the idea of not drinking in January.  At this point I knew I drank too much but had never seriously thought about quitting for good. I am always trying to lose weight in January and this seemed like a great idea for lots of reasons.  They even had other members of my family on board.  I had good intentions but lasted only about 2 weeks.  We had people over for a football playoff game and it was very easy to talk myself into drinking.  I mean this wasn't even my idea to begin with, right?

January 2013

January went so well I even decided to go into February.  In fact I made it 45 days.  For Valentine's Day my husband wanted to go out for dinner and what's Valentine's Day dinner without wine...

January 2014

I made it exactly 31 days.  I specifically remember wanting wine so badly near the end that I was very focused on drinking again and planning out when and what and how.  I was also very glad that the Super Bowl was in February so I'd be able to drink.

I was planning to start this journey in January of 2015 and I'm glad I decided to start now instead.  By the time January rolls around I'll already be well on my way!