Way back before any of you lovely people were reading this blog, back on Day 11 in fact, I wrote about a special sober treat I bought myself (as a side note it is funny to go back and read these older posts now). My treat was the softest, comfiest, most wonderful blanket in the entire world. I had gotten quite attached to it, snuggling up with it every night...my reminder of how much better sleep is when sober.
Yesterday I decided to skip the gym as I've been sick. My plan was to bring this treasured blanket out of it's place on my bed and into the living room and curl up with it and watch mindless TV all day. All was going according to plan and I was having a nice relaxing day until I decided to run to the store for some cold medicine and...
MY DOGS TOOK MY PRECIOUS BLANKET OUTSIDE AND FUCKING ATE IT!
I wish I could blame someone other than myself. My dogs have been known to eat everything from socks to sweatshirts to hats. I was planning to be so careful with my blanket and only use it for a few hours before returning it to the bedroom.
I was so mad (and sad) that I cried! Last night I really missed it.
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 9, 2015
The Bad, the Good and the Fluffy
I've got a couple of things to write about this morning. One is a very serious situation happening in my life and how I'm reacting to it and the other is a totally ridiculous reality TV show I'm watching. I'll start with the serious and end with the fluff.
A member of my husbands family is dealing with a very serious health issue and unfortunately I've not handled it very well. When it first happened I had my feelings hurt because I was not on the group text and did not find out right away. My husband was at work and he and I didn't communicate about it right away either. After a visit to the hospital (on which I should have accompanied him) my husband came home emotionally drained and instead of being supportive and helpful I was a huge baby because MY feelings were hurt. Needless to say that conversation didn't go well. The last thing I wanted to do is argue with my husband during a tragedy, yet that was what was happening.
I went to bed and told myself that I'd do better. I needed to realize that this was not about ME! The people who were on the group text were the ones who should have been. I really felt like I needed to grow up and act like an adult. That was two days ago and I do think yesterday was a bit better. I accompanied my husband to the hospital and then left to pick up the kids from school. He came home quite a bit later and was very upset. I wanted to know what was going on but I think the mistake I made was asking him the minute he walked in. He was visibly upset and I think waiting and letting him have time to decompress would have been better.
Again...today will be better. I think the most frustrating thing is knowing I'm acting in an unhealthy way but still doing it anyway. It can be so hard to change behavior.
Now for the fluff!
The fluff is The Bachelor...one of my favorite guilty pleasures! I love it and have watched for such a long time. There is so much alcohol on that show! I just watched the first episode of the season and there was one poor girl who drank so much she could hardly stand up (and she got a rose!) Of course I would never be on the show but if I was a can guarantee I would be the one who would have drank too much! Also they always drink wine on the dates. It is such a glamorous image of wine drinking. I would always wonder how they could do that for so many nights in a row without being hungover, how they could sip the wine so slowly. Now I know that they are most likely normal drinkers, it just seems so foreign to me and the way I use to drink.
So there it is. The bad (terrible things happen), the good (I'm aware of my issues and working on them), and the fluff (gotta love reality TV).
A member of my husbands family is dealing with a very serious health issue and unfortunately I've not handled it very well. When it first happened I had my feelings hurt because I was not on the group text and did not find out right away. My husband was at work and he and I didn't communicate about it right away either. After a visit to the hospital (on which I should have accompanied him) my husband came home emotionally drained and instead of being supportive and helpful I was a huge baby because MY feelings were hurt. Needless to say that conversation didn't go well. The last thing I wanted to do is argue with my husband during a tragedy, yet that was what was happening.
I went to bed and told myself that I'd do better. I needed to realize that this was not about ME! The people who were on the group text were the ones who should have been. I really felt like I needed to grow up and act like an adult. That was two days ago and I do think yesterday was a bit better. I accompanied my husband to the hospital and then left to pick up the kids from school. He came home quite a bit later and was very upset. I wanted to know what was going on but I think the mistake I made was asking him the minute he walked in. He was visibly upset and I think waiting and letting him have time to decompress would have been better.
Again...today will be better. I think the most frustrating thing is knowing I'm acting in an unhealthy way but still doing it anyway. It can be so hard to change behavior.
Now for the fluff!
The fluff is The Bachelor...one of my favorite guilty pleasures! I love it and have watched for such a long time. There is so much alcohol on that show! I just watched the first episode of the season and there was one poor girl who drank so much she could hardly stand up (and she got a rose!) Of course I would never be on the show but if I was a can guarantee I would be the one who would have drank too much! Also they always drink wine on the dates. It is such a glamorous image of wine drinking. I would always wonder how they could do that for so many nights in a row without being hungover, how they could sip the wine so slowly. Now I know that they are most likely normal drinkers, it just seems so foreign to me and the way I use to drink.
So there it is. The bad (terrible things happen), the good (I'm aware of my issues and working on them), and the fluff (gotta love reality TV).
Friday, October 31, 2014
Still Day 5
I have never thought of myself as a writer or ever considered the possibility that I would like to write but now that I have started this blog I feel like I can’t stop and am constantly thinking about things I want to write about.
So as I was just making myself some breakfast I was thinking about the fact that tomorrow is Friday and it will most likely be the hardest day for me so far because it’s FRIDAY and who doesn’t want to have a drink on Friday? Then I was thinking that tomorrow I will write about what I was doing the previous Friday (drinking) and I realized that that wasn’t true. The previous Friday I spent hung over because I had too much wine the previous Thursday. Why was I drinking last Thursday? I’ll tell you. My daughter’s evening activities were cancelled (I didn’t have to drive) and my husband would be home late (no one would have to know). Of course my kids were home with me all night watching me drink but somehow I had convinced myself that this was ok.
So here’s how the night went. I got home from picking up the kids at school and immediately opened the bottle of red wine. I drank that wine while making lunches for the following day, cleaning the kitchen, kids doing homework (I was happy to be having the wine because surely it was making these mundane tasks so much more bearable). I’m sure I told myself as I usually did that I’d just have one glass. Then we watched some of our favorite TV shows. At some point I finished the bottle, put the it in the recycle bin and the glass in the dishwasher and we all went to bed. Nothing “bad” happened. But what kind of example is that setting for my kids?
A few days later I asked my son if he wanted to watch The Biggest Loser and proceeded to turn it on. He said that we had already watched that episode. I was staring at the TV but it wasn’t ringing a bell. Honestly sometimes TV is so mindless that I don’t remember it even when watching it when sober (or at least that’s what I tell myself). But as I was watching this show I realized that we must have watched it last Thursday when I was into the bottom of the bottle of wine I had been drinking. I laughed it off, and deleted the episode. Don’t get me wrong…it’s not like I blacked out and forgot the entire night. I remember it generally, I know I watched TV with my kids. The specifics just aren’t there. Is this the end of the world? No. Is this a problem? Yes.
So as I was just making myself some breakfast I was thinking about the fact that tomorrow is Friday and it will most likely be the hardest day for me so far because it’s FRIDAY and who doesn’t want to have a drink on Friday? Then I was thinking that tomorrow I will write about what I was doing the previous Friday (drinking) and I realized that that wasn’t true. The previous Friday I spent hung over because I had too much wine the previous Thursday. Why was I drinking last Thursday? I’ll tell you. My daughter’s evening activities were cancelled (I didn’t have to drive) and my husband would be home late (no one would have to know). Of course my kids were home with me all night watching me drink but somehow I had convinced myself that this was ok.
So here’s how the night went. I got home from picking up the kids at school and immediately opened the bottle of red wine. I drank that wine while making lunches for the following day, cleaning the kitchen, kids doing homework (I was happy to be having the wine because surely it was making these mundane tasks so much more bearable). I’m sure I told myself as I usually did that I’d just have one glass. Then we watched some of our favorite TV shows. At some point I finished the bottle, put the it in the recycle bin and the glass in the dishwasher and we all went to bed. Nothing “bad” happened. But what kind of example is that setting for my kids?
A few days later I asked my son if he wanted to watch The Biggest Loser and proceeded to turn it on. He said that we had already watched that episode. I was staring at the TV but it wasn’t ringing a bell. Honestly sometimes TV is so mindless that I don’t remember it even when watching it when sober (or at least that’s what I tell myself). But as I was watching this show I realized that we must have watched it last Thursday when I was into the bottom of the bottle of wine I had been drinking. I laughed it off, and deleted the episode. Don’t get me wrong…it’s not like I blacked out and forgot the entire night. I remember it generally, I know I watched TV with my kids. The specifics just aren’t there. Is this the end of the world? No. Is this a problem? Yes.
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