First thing I did was get on the scale. I knew pretty much exactly what it would say but I was disappointed anyway. I've done this yo-yo dieting thing enough times to know that losing weight takes time and yet I want immediate results. After all, I've been staying within my calorie limit for almost 2 weeks and I went to the gym 6 out out 7 days last week. Surely I'd have lost 15 pounds by now. Guess what...I haven't!
Then I went to they gym which was actually fun as I love my Sunday class. On the way home I found out that there was an extra ticket for the playoff football game. This should be exciting news, and it was. It's just that I knew it would be challenging as I'd just gone to a game a couple of weeks ago. We sit in a suite complete with a bar, bartender and food buffet. Last time I drank tea and ate the yummy food. This time I drank tea and ate 2 pickles! My attitude was terrible. I wanted to be holding a huge plastic cup filled with foamy beer.
I wanted to enjoy the game and I did somewhat but I was filled with negative thoughts. My own temper tantrum in my head. WHY CAN'T I HAVE DRINKS? Everyone else is having drinks. Why can't I be a normal drinker? Maybe this no drinking thing was a BAD idea. AND...this was MY idea...why exactly am I doing this to myself?
I also failed all day to have any civilized conversation with my husband. Instead, every word that came out of my mouth was either bitchy, accusatory or lecturing. YUCK!
I was even on the brink of tears a couple of times.
I've heard other sober people talk of this magical land where they LIKE being sober. People have said they enjoy social events sober and even have fun! I need a map to this magical place because I was nowhere near there yesterday.
Today will be better :)
I am so sorry! I sure have been there.
ReplyDeleteI still hope I can go to a dinner party and not have those thoughts.
I've been told the magic comes after a longer period of being AF.
Today will be better!
Thank you! Today is better although its really cold and gloomy here. I need the sun to come back out!
DeleteI don't know if it will help but I have been feeling exactly the same. Miserable, moaning minnie. Everything is snappy and cross..
ReplyDeleteOne thing that did help was my meditation class. I felt as though a weight had been lifted. This is really the only thing thats helping me at the moment. That and running. I hate the running whilst I'm doing it but the endorphin hit at the end is pretty good ;0)
Wishing you well x
Hi Claire, thanks! I don't run but I do group fitness classes at my gym which I love. What exactly is a meditation class?
DeleteI'm feeling similar!!! Greatest of hugs to you x x x
ReplyDeleteThanks and hugs back at you!
DeleteHi, this was raw AND funny :). I hope you are feeling better toward the end of this hot mess of a week! When you get the map to the magical place of Perfect, please share. In the meantime, we're here to muddle through Reality with you! Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
SR
Thank you! Yes, feeling better and still searching :)
DeleteI don't love being sober either, and I have lost no weight, nothing, not one bit. I know how you feel we chose to do this and we are doing it because deep down we know its right. Keep on going and don't give in.
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard for sure. I'm working hard at the weight loss now so I hope to see results soon!
DeleteI'm at eight months and I'm only just getting over the temper tantrums and seeing that this is my choice, there is power in it. It's a slow process to shed your inner alco-toddler. You WILL get there. I promise!
ReplyDeleteAlso if this posts as anonymous this is me from How to Vomit Politely over at Word Press xx
Hi! Thanks for your comment. I love your blog. It's nice to hear from someone a bit farther along. You are right...it's just like a toddlers temper tantrum.
Delete