Now that I have completed the first 30 days I plan to start giving my blog posts a title with words and not just day counts. I'll throw in an occasional day count as I reach certain milestones I'm sure.
I can count on one hand (5) the number of people I know in my personal life who are non drinkers. Yesterday at the gym I ran into one of these people and she told me to send her my email address for something totally unrelated. As I was sending it to her I thought to myself, "You know she doesn't drink, why not ask her about it? It might be good to reach out to another sober person. Maybe she has some tips."
So I did. I told her I'd stopped drinking about a month ago and did she have any tips for me? We exchanged a few emails back and forth and not only did she open up about her non drinking, she also opened up about other addiction related things that have shaped her life.
Her story is interesting to me because she was apparently not at all a heavy drinker and had just one bad experience with drinking and then decided to give it up. She shared that it has been very difficult socially, which of course was not a surprise.
This person and I are Facebook friends and during our email exchange she said something along the lines of "I don't know if you know this about me...my Facebook is not me". I have thought about this before and discussed it with other friends. It's rare, if at all, that anyone's Facebook is the real them. Wouldn't it be crazy if we all put our real shit out there for everyone to see!?!
Whenever I hear someone else's story of sobriety I inevitably find myself comparing my story with theirs. Often times I find myself saying "I wasn't that bad". In a way that makes me feel better but it is also dangerous because it can lead to thinking things like "I wasn't that bad, maybe I don't need to stop", etc. In this case, My drinking was obviously worse than hers, yet she chose to quit. Therefore my quitting is definitely justified.
Blogging has been a fantastic release for me and I get so excited that people are actually visiting my page and even more excited when they leave a comment. I am also finding that each time I tell someone in my real life I feel a small amount of relief as well. I think both are important.
Thank you - for giving me hope and courage to do this. This is my first blog comment. I'm happy to say I'm day 4 AF.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're here. On day 4 my head was spinning. I did not yet have the courage to comment on blogs. You are off to a good start. Keep it up.
DeleteHi, Congratulations on your one month! I'm one month today. I know I am 2 days behind you but I read this like we are on the same day. It's the time difference from our countries I think. Anyhow, I have deleted my FB account for the exact reason you talk about. No-one (or almost) is the real person, everyone understandably puts their best foot forward on FB. It allows us to look at their best and compare it to our own worst.
ReplyDeleteI also don't know many people in the real world who don't drink, but at the same time I also don't know many who were polishing off close to a bottle (or sometimes the whole bottle) of wine most nights of the week. I also go through periods where I think I wasn't that bad and maybe I have overreacted a bit. However I keep trying to quit drinking. I have tried 4 times in the last year, so that alone is telling me something. Maybe I could go on drinking as I were and suffer no bad consequences, maybe I have a strong liver and I'll be fine. But at the end of the day I don't want to be a heavy drinker anymore. I'd love to be a one glass of wine every so often type...but that's never going to happen :) L Putting Down The Glass
Congratulations on one month. We are doing it! Yes FB is a crazy thing. I love it and hate it. But it's something else I'm addicted to and I can't imagine deactivating it. Good for you. I also still fantasize about "a glass of wine". It sounds so romantic doesn't it? But I have to think it through and it would be an entire bottle, not sleeping, feeling terrible and wishing the next day was over. Ugh!
DeleteI totally respect your anonymity but would love to know what country you are in. It is so interesting to me to be connected to people from other places but yet we are the same.
I know I love/hate FB too. It is addictive for sure and a good time waster....bit like drinking really.
ReplyDeleteI'm in Australia, I'm pretty sure we are around a day ahead of the US. L putting down the glass.
One month ago I never would have though I'd be blogging, let alone connecting with someone in Australia. It's so crazy to think about and so wonderful!
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