I must be in the mood for rambling today. I feel like I have more to say on the topic of will I/won't I ever drink again. For some reason it feels important to say "I don't know". I might and I might not. I don't plan to for a very long time. I would like to get to day 100, one year, day 500. In fact, I am going to calculate when day 100 will be. Ok, according to my calculations, day 100 will be January 26th, 2015. That's a good starting goal.
Also, I mentioned a few days ago that I had told a couple of my closest friends of my sobriety (by text, casually). We text back and forth daily and over the weekend the friend who I'd been most scared to tell made at least 6 comments which irritated me. She flat out asked if I wanted to come over for a drink and also told me that I was no fun, getting old and that I only live once and should have some fun. That was hard to hear for someone who is worried about getting old and being no fun! Of course I hadn't made a big deal about becoming sober but this let me know that it was on her mind. I mostly ignored the comments and honestly expected them but I did feel irritated.
I emailed Belle about this the other day. I keep getting panicked that I won't be able to drink at events in the future. The event I was thinking of is not for 1.5 years and I'm worrying about it now! I definitely believe 100 days is as far as we should look. I would love to go a year, but it's an overwhelming thought.
ReplyDeleteNot drinking does not = not fun :) well I don't think I was much fun sitting on my sofa drinking wine most nights. L